Learning to love yourself is a long journey marked with forgiveness of both past and future mistakes and a great deal of patience as you grow into your most authentic form of self. It involves letting go of judgements and allowing yourself to be unapologetically you. When you are on this path of self-discovery, the goal isn’t to be perfect or better than you were the day before. The goal is simply to accept who you are each and every day.
Treat Yo’ Self
The best way to show yourself that you care is to “treat yo’ self.” When you do something special for yourself, it is a confirmation that you are deserving of positive attention and care. On a daily basis, self-care doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, just set aside a few minutes to do something enjoyable. But as often as you can, do something crazy and outlandish for yourself. Buy that expensive dress. Spend the day at a spa. Go on a weekend getaway. Or simply spend the afternoon alone. There are plenty of ways to “treat yo’ self” in any price range.
Splurging your resources on is one way to show how much you value yourself. Spending something of value, like time or money, establishes the level of respect you place on yourself. When you make self-care a habit, this tells yourself what you believe your level of worth to be.
Know Your Worth
The relationship you have with yourself demonstrates to other people the way you expect to be treated. By practicing self-care and setting positive boundaries, you are letting those around you know what your expectations from them are. In other words, if you practice positive self-talk and take time for self-care, you are modeling the level of respect you are looking for from the people in your life.
Examine your relationships and make sure that there is an equal amount of give and take. Recognize patterns during times when you feel a relationship is unbalanced. Talk about your concerns and set boundaries that you’re comfortable with. This can mean you don’t always pick up the tab when you go out with a friend. Or that you no longer tolerate passive aggressive comments by your significant other. Once you set these boundaries, follow through with them. You are deserving of equal partnerships.
Stop judging yourself. It is acceptable to make mistakes or say the wrong thing. Learn from these situations and move on. Dwelling on what you should have done differently doesn’t change what happened. It only makes you feel worse about your choice of action. Accept that you did something wrong and make a mental note on how to do better in the future. Hold yourself accountable for your actions and apologize when necessary. Accountability gives you the confidence to confront your errors and make them right.
Self-love doesn’t always come easy. It is often something you need to continue to put effort towards, but is worth the time. Whenever you are feeling down about a situation, remind yourself that you are enough and that mistakes inevitable. The more you love yourself, the less you will tolerate negativity from others. Continue to treat yourself with respect, know your worth, and stop placing unnecessary judgement on yourself.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough!